Heroology
by Madam Callisto
Summary: Annie almost learns a lesson about independence from the Dark Knight and a certain friendly neighborhood superhero.


It was no secret that Annie lived in bad neighborhood, though she did her best not to talk too much about it. She wasn't one for burdening others with her problems, not these days anyways. Annie was an independent gal now, and her apartment was a testament to that. And it wasn't as if it was really _that _bad anyway! Sure, police sirens seemed to go off like clockwork, and she'd ending up sleeping in her bathtub a few nights after a stray bullet had whizzed through her cereal box...and sometimes she needed to call the police after smelling funny things next door-but she still loved her home! It was her own little monument to the stronger Annie she'd become since Greendale, and she wouldn't give it up for the world.

All that being said, she still preferred not to be outside of her apartment at night. She usually wasn't unless the police were doing random drug searches on her building or she'd been studying late with the group.

Tonight it was the latter; an up and coming Anthropology project had left her washing glue and paper mache from her hair in the Greendale bathroom until Shirley and Britta had gone home around midnight. After her last encounter with the Greendale night school, Annie had no intention of being there by herself, and decided to follow the other ladies example and head home, packing up the unfinished pieces of her diorama with the intent to finish it later.

If Annie didn't know better, she'd assume that the walkway in between the parking lot and her apartment was specifically decided to be a haven for shady folks. It was a nest of homeless victims of alien abductions, drag queens (by far the most harmless) and a virtual mosaic of druggies that all seemed to have a school girl fetish. Annie kept all this in mind as she speed-walked down the alley with her bag clutched in a white knuckle grip to her chest. She'd be damned was someone was gonna run off with her diorama! She'd sooner lose her wallet and her keys again-

"Listen up, missy," said a gruff voice from behind her. Annie froze, "if you don't me to hurt ya-"

_Oh come on._

"-I've got a knife you see-"

Annie could literally _see _the adult entertainment store she lived above. _Damn it. So close._

"-So you better just hand over your bag-"

"Uh-uh, no way, that's not happening!" Annie said, rounding to glare at the knife wielding man behind her. The man flinched at the look on her face, "I have worked too hard on this project for you to just steal it! Not this time!"

"Whoa, look girl, I ain't given you an option here, okay? I'm mugging you." The attempted thief said, shrugging his shoulder in an innocent gesture. "Why don't you just hand over the bag, and I won't have to get stabby?"

Annie's hands found room to tighten around her bag again, "That's not happening." She said. She slipped a hand slowly inside.

"Hey, don't try anything stupid!"

Annie narrowed her eyes, "Don't get in the way of my A-"

"Freeze, evil-doer!"

Annie jumped at the familiar voice above her. The two of them looked up, the junkie scratching his head in confusion.

"Oh no..." Annie said.

"Leave that innocent, large-chested girl alone!", cried Spiderman as he climbed awkwardly down the fire escape. 'Spiderman' cursed aloud as his suit caught on the bottom railing.

The junkie waved his knife in the direction of the spandex clad superhero, "What the hell is this?"

"This," Spiderman grunted as he tore a hole in his suit in the effort to pull away, "is justice!"

"Troy, be careful!" Annie said, running over to help detangle the Superhero.

"Who's 'Troy'? I," Troy grunted as he fell onto his hands, his legs still tangled in the fire escape, "am Spiderman." 'Spiderman' let out a non-to-manly squeak as he fell into Annie's arms, "Whew, thanks Annie-uh, innocent bystander, who I do not know! Now then, thief! Your evil deeds shall not go unpunished!"

"I'm not sure what the hell is going on, but the both of you can give me all your money right now!" The junkie said, yanking 'Spiderman' away from Annie and pointing the knife towards his chest.

"Oh my God, Troy!" Annie yelled.

Spiderman, or rather Troy, let out a small screech, "Oh God, I don't think this is working-Batman! Batman!"

"Don't hurt him! I'll give you my money, okay!" Annie said, digging frantically through her bag.

"_Let him go." _A raspy voice said behind them. Annie froze, her eyes on the verge of tearing up in her panic until she saw the cape-clad figure behind them.

"_Abed?" _

"Oh look, brown-Batman is here." The junkie said rolling his eyes.

Batman did not look amused.

Annie wasn't really sure if it was their ominous surrounding, the adrenaline in her veins, or the fact that Abed wasn't a man to half-ass his personas, but she couldn't help but feel as though the Dark Knight himself really had just come to rescue them. An unreasonable feeling of relief washed over her.

"_Drop the knife, and let the girl and the Spiderman go." _Batman said, taking a menacing half-step forward. Annie tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in her stomach. Why did Abed have to be so darn good at this kind of stuff-

"To hell with this." The junkie said, driving his knife into Troy's side. Troy's girly screams were drowned out by Abed's own monotone ones as the Caped Crusader waved his hands frantically around his crying friend, unsure of what to do. The junkie dropped his knife and turned, reaching out to grab for Annie's bag- but was left staring down the barrel of Annie's gun.

"He _stabbed _me Annie! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod."

"_There's blood. Spiderman appears to be bleeding."_

"I knew this was a bad idea! I'm nowhere near as cool as Spiderman!"

Annie looked back at Troy, who was pacing back and forth clutching his side in a panic, his tears beginning to stain the outside of his mask, Abed, who was still, oddly enough, mostly in character, (if fraying a bit around the edge and dissolving back into Troy's best friend) and the flustered junkie, who was fidgeting in front of her gun.

"It itches! Why does it itch? I think it means I'm dying. Yup, I'm definitely dying."

"_It's always the black guys that die first. I knew clichés would be the end of us." _

"I promise not to pass on Abed-"

"_Who's this Abed guy?"_

"I'll totally just hang around and haunt you so we can keep on watching movies and eating cereal and it'll be like I'm not even dead!"

Annie sighed and waved the junkie away with her gun, "Go on, get out of here." He bolted from the scene, not needing to be told twice, and Annie stowed her weapon. "Come here, Troy, let me see it."

Troy whimpered as Annie examined the small tear in his red spandex suit. "Troy!" She said, throwing her arms up in frustration, "It's hardly even a scratch!."

Troy sniffed loudly, feeling very glad that his masked kept his face hidden, "Doesn't feel like a scratch..."

Annie looked down at it again. Yup, it was a scratch. Annie had gotten worse cutting onions. "What were you idiots even doing out here late at night?"

"_Cleaning up the streets." _

"Starting with my neighborhood?" Annie asked, her anger and annoyance slipping.

"Well, you said you lived in a really bad neighborhood, and that you hated walking from your car to your apartment," 'Spiderman' shrugged, "We just wanted to help. Plus we've sorta been planning a justice night for a while now."

"_Greendale needs us."_

"You-you you guys actually did something as stupid as-," Annie started. She stopped, realizing she was couldn't actually find any anger to fling their way. "You guys are idiots." She said with a sigh, drawing her two favorite superheroes in for a hug.

"Ouch, Annie, I just got stabbed!"

"Sorry!" Annie said, unable to hold back her giggles at the absurdity of her situation. "Since you guys are already out here; I'd feel much safer walking home if I had two superheroes by my side...?"

Troy and Abed-no, Batman and Spiderman- looked at each other, and then nodded solemnly.

"_We will make sure you get home safely." _Batman-Abed said. Annie smiled and held out both her elbows which the two superheroes linked their own with. Annie knew that Abed probably wasn't too happy about the gesture, seeing as the Dark Knight wasn't really the affectionate type, but if he minded he didn't say anything.

As she walked back towards her building, a superhero on each arm, trying to not trip on any hobo's, Annie's couldn't help thinking that her neighborhood had never felt safer.

"Hey Annie?"

"Yes, _Spiderman?"_

"When did you get a gun?"


End file.
